Climate Change: Fermanagh braces itself for sunny day

A typical summer's day in Enniskillen.

In sweeping fears that the climate of the earth has taken a turn for the dramatically worse climatologists are predicting that some time between April and September of 2011 the lake lands county, Fermanagh, may see it's first day of sunlight since records began.

It has long been theorized by paleoclimatologists that sometime in the late Cretaceous Period there was at least a seven hour period when the weather over Fermanagh could be classed as 'slightly overcast but pleasant'. It is believed that this was caused by the cataclysmic events that wiped out the dinosaurs.

Artist's impression of the last sunny day in Fermanagh.

Recent fears have been sparked by former US Presidential candidate Al Gore's sweeping but somewhat factually questionable piece 'An Inconvenient Truth', itself inspired by the detailed scientific documentary expose and Hollywood blockbuster 'The Day After Tomorrow'.

Vice President Gore explaining climate change.

Northern Ireland Water has issued alerts that an emergency hosepipe ban may go into effect across the county if sunlight does break through the cloud cover, homeowners have been urged to store water in sealed drums as the light could last for hours at a time.

"Above all, we must not panic." NIW acting chief executive Trevor Haslett said to WNN, "The dams took no time at all to refill in Fermanagh thanks to the unique climate there, so much so that we have even been diverting water to outlying counties to aid in getting our supplies back up to capacity after the issues over the Christmas 2010 period. We are quite confident that should the clouds break we will have more than enough water to see us through until at least the early evening. After that it may be necessary for locals to drink their own urine, but we can assure you it is sterile."

When questioned about whether or not NIW was prepared for a feared second day of sun in Fermanagh Mr Haslett scoffed that we shouldn't talk nonsense and refused to answer further questions.

The main concern is that should the water levels of the Fermanagh lakes lower the county will grind to a halt as vehicles begin to scrape the roads beneath the water. Few people in the county own cars anymore unless their business takes them to neighbouring Tyrone or Armagh.

Road Service employees fear that they may have to put in a day's work if the roads actually become visible again.

Ulsterbus have recently been caught testing their new 'FermanaghBus' in Belfast Lough, and may be forced to rush the device into production much sooner than anticipated.

Ulsterbus' new 'FermanaghBus' on trial.